The Paxtons Make Divorce Great Again
It turns out that the airing of dirty laundry is bigger in Texas, too
This has to be one of the more enthralling “he said, she said” divorce reveals we’ve seen in quite a while.
And it sure isn’t looking so great for the “he.”
I refer to the unfolding spectacle of Paxton v. Paxton, in which the attorney general of the great state of Texas finds himself in not such a great state at all — thanks to a most displeased spouse.
That would be State Sen. Angela Paxton, who on Thursday handed Attorney General Ken Paxton both his lunch and his walking papers, for all the world to see. This episode of Angry Housewives of the State Capitol is essential political TV.
Let us begin with the public statement from the missus on Twitter:
“Today, after 38 years, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds. I believe marriage is a sacred covenant and I have earnestly pursued reconciliation. But in light of recent discoveries, I do not believe that it honors God or is loving to myself, my children, or Ken to remain in the marriage."
On biblical grounds? Holy moly, the lady is not playing here. And how about that reference to “recent discoveries” on her Twitter feed? I should add that her court filing specifically cited adultery as reason for the divorce.
What a beatdown.
Angela didn’t dump this off on a press spokesman. She didn’t shrink from the moment, she took it to social media. And played the God card for retweets.
But the story gets better, because Ken wasn’t smart enough to just let this go. Apparently, no one existed in his orbit to whisper in his ear, “Bruh, better keep your head down on this one.”
No, the attorney general put on his cheaters and drafted this:
“After facing the pressures of countless political attacks and public scrutiny, Angela and I have decided to start a new chapter in our lives. I could not be any more proud or grateful for the incredible family that God has blessed us with, and I remain committed to supporting our amazing children and grandchildren. I ask for your prayers and privacy at this time.”
Okay, emphasis added by me. But this is comedy gold.
A guy gets publicly destroyed by his wife of 38 years in a Twitter post — in which she goes full biblical trolling him for adultery — and he has the stones to imply they’re just a loving couple who decided to start a new chapter in their lives. And then he tries playing his own God card and asks for our prayers.
But not before ignoring his wife’s accusation of adultery and blaming this difficult thing on “the pressures of countless political attacks and public scrutiny.”
You’re killing us, Ken.
Talk about a guy not listening to his wife. Hand this man the 2025 Rudy Giuliani Self-Unawareness Award.
Now, I know I might seem a little hard on Ken here. So, lest I appear to be taking sides or coming off as unfair to the most pathetic moron in the room, I must point out that as a journalist, I only have one follow-up question — and it’s addressed to the accuser.
“Mrs. Paxton, I’d like to ask you about just one thing.
“Given that your husband Ken has — over the past decade — been indicted on three felony counts of securities fraud and failure to register as an investment adviser… that eight of his top aides accused him of bribery, abuse of office, and other corrupt acts involving a real estate investor… that he used his office to help that investor harass his enemies… that he was helping that investor in return for that person helping him cover up an affair he was having with someone else — on you… that he was accused of improperly intervening in open records requests and lawsuits… that his response to all this was to fire all the whistleblowers who busted him… that he has been repeatedly criticized for issuing legal opinions that benefit allies or donors… and that he has been accused of cronyism and of using outside attorneys for personal agendas under the guise of state legal authority — given all that — are you surprised he cheated on you again?”
Just wondering.
Nice job on the Twitter post, though.
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